Dealing Regrets

What regrets are worth for?

I always had a thought - Regret is Universally a bad thing. Regretting is a sin.

Only when I watch close, it has actually served a very wonderful purpose for me. You'll see, how to turn your regrets into much more interesting thing.

A get-together party

Take your time and imagine a get-together party in your home. Only you are at home now. All your parents, siblings are just went out for few hours.

So, let the people in the party be the past version of yourself.

There is a kid's toy with all the little kid versions of yourself playing around. Imagine your kid faces.

There is a school guy who is playing a video game right now with headphones around the head.

Then, there is an angry teenager who just came from college and started watching music videos loud in the TV.

Then enter a dozen of adult-selves, walking around, drinking and eating whatever garbage they get or shown in ad-commercials.

So here you meet all, the insecure you, trying to look smarter than you actually are; the frustrated and exhausted degree student or the irritated job fellow and also the romantic guy who fell in love.

Here you go, the Assembly of  "insert your name in plural here". Now this might started to sounds like fun. But sooner, this beautiful get-together party is going to be dull and dull.

You know why? - because each of these version you talk to, you know everything what they know, while they know only a small fraction of what you know now.

You go play with your kid-self. You hangout with your awkward teen-self reassuring not to worry much. You consolidate your adults - things will get better. You compassionately bring the arrogant guy down a notch. 

But then there would be that one guy that you would always wanted to avoid. You know who that is. That your-self had did some horrible things you are really not fond of. Neither you really talked much with in-person to that nor you let it just go out and forgive yourself. 

If forced finally to speak to them, you may end up bursting "What have you become? How could you possibly do that? you are such a "insert your favourite cuss word here" . Woh shit.

Here comes the beautiful get-together party starts getting ruined minutes after minutes. There you are, the "your name here" ripping off the PAST "your name here".

While this whole drama coming into spotlight, rest all of your past selves starts looking in horror, feeling neglected and abandoned.

The party you arranged starts to collapse. You fall into this one pointed awful moment of your past and it sucking away all the joy and vibrancy that others had brought to home.

How is your party?

This small get-together you just now arranged is one of the metaphor for what actually happens when you feel regret. You abandon all the celebration that you had and get small for that few things which haunts you all that time.

Regret is a form of SELF-HATRED.

What you are today is mixture of all the acts you did, the reactions you had for those situations.

Hating some part of yourself now really messes up your mind for unnecessary. There is a self-loathing here and it just drags you down in this party [metaphorically speaking]

The only way to get over regret is NOT TO IGNORE IT but to PUSH THROUGH IT 

- Mark Manson

Be STRONG. It's high-time to engage with that former self - GO TALK TO THEM DIRECTLY RIGHT IN THE EYE. They are not culprits. Talk to them open. Please understand why they did what they did. Care them, soothe them, forgive them. You will feel LIGHT.

Mistake vs Regret

Have you ever wondered or drew a line between these?

AREN'T YOU WILLING TO GET A LEARNING FROM REGRETS?

Simply put - 

Regret is simply a mistake that we haven't learned the proper lesson from it yet.

- Mark Manson

We just don't want to get them up again.

We presume some catastrophic has done and bygone. There's isn't much left to remember them again.

But you always get haunted by regret no matter how much you resist. You know why? - because we are just lacking the imagination to pull out some great learning out of them.

Pull out learning from regret

You know the basic element of not being a shit? [Even I don't know where to start from, pardon]

Let me put this way - knowingly or unknowingly you did something which you are not very fond of. That became a mistake. You learn what could have been done instead. You keep that in mind always. Similar moment hits you somewhere after that. You just crush that using this experience. You get into cloud nine for acing the moment better. You feel satisfied. 

See. You just made your old mistake helpful for you, you start to beat your regret with your new achievement. You are great. That party invitation now reads [Remember your old get-together party?]

You were flawsome but awesome.

You now got an elixir that transmutes all your cringe feelings into something soothing. You might not able to remove all your negative feels, but definitely it prevents things from getting worse each day.

See- Regret does serves a purpose. It's like an alarm. It makes you responsible for NOT REPEATING THE MISTAKES.

While you were at that moment -

• Maybe you were angry.
• Maybe you had a cringy conversation before.
• Maybe you were selfish.
• Maybe you were ignorant.
• Maybe situations went not as you wished.
• Maybe you were in hurry.

But you are here now. None of those bursting feelings are affecting right now. You just have the memory of incident. Now you can take time to think how that went. How did you reacted. You have no hurry now.

This will force you to take Responsibilities for your misleads. If you truly take these, you are least likely to repeat them again.

That's what Regret is worth for.

And ofcourse, it's easier said than done. But certainly not impossible. 

I can do. You can do. All of us can do this actually.

.

Peace. ☮

Continue to the next page.

Counterproductive Care

Stuff to care less to collect more peace 

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